


Things Best Forgotten

by Lapinette



Category: Thor (Movies)
Genre: Dom/sub, M/M, Memory Loss, Physical Abuse, Unresolved Tension, i warned you, trigger warning, young thor (read: cruel)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-22
Updated: 2013-08-22
Packaged: 2017-12-24 07:42:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 951
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/937342
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lapinette/pseuds/Lapinette
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Thor asks Loki a question and Loki remembers things he's not sure he wants to forget.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Things Best Forgotten

Once, Thor had asked which time had been the best? He was just curious.

"This one." Loki lied. 

They thought of different things. There was no way that Thor could remember how he thread his fingers through Loki's raven hair, pulling tight, to a vice once he had reached the back. There was no way that he'd remember the sensation of his hands grasping two pale wrists. How he slammed them back against the sheets. How he held tighter when Loki struggled. 

_Brother, I missed you_. Thor had drawled into his neck, bending down and biting until he tasted blood. I missed you. And he punctuates with a thrust. A throbbing heat, hard and cruel rubbing against the silk of Loki's formal dinner wear. _Brother I missed you so._

He pulled his hand away then, the one that held Loki's hair and dragged it down, haphazardly running his fingers against everything. Sending shocks like lightning pulsing through Loki. Then his hand ripped from him, what last vestige hid him from his brother. Silk clawed to shreds. When Thor pressed his exposed cock against him again,it was damned dry, Loki recalls. Sweat and precome doing little to ease the painful friction. 

For awhile it was simply Thor, rutting desperately, whining Loki's name and Loki desperately biting his voice back. He knew better than to vocalise his approval and they were passed the point of reason. He could use this memory, he thinks, to his advantage, plotting revenge of some sort. Then Thor's fingers claw down from his scalp to grab both of their throbbing cocks and tug up. Loki _whimpers_ then at the roughness, a dry calloused palm to remind him of who this is. He keens up, lips bleeding from his need to _just stay silent_ as his eyes go wide in horror at Thor's responding chuckle. _Enjoying yourself brother?_

And he's not. He's really not. How can he say with his body that he's not? That he wanted this, but not _this_. He wanted to be caressed, to be eased into it, butterfly kisses and something slow. He tries to say something, anything, before he feels lips crash into his, a tongue forcing it's way passed, barreling past swollen bleeding lips to claim every inch of his mouth. He groans. And he's ruined beneath Thor. _Ruined_. His brother was ruining him for all others. The spoiled brat could leave nothing be. Better to comply, he thinks to himself, then to find a way to explain why Thor lay naked and bleeding on his bedroom floor (because in Loki's mind that is literally the only other appropriate response). So he breathes in and sighs out, tongue pushing past those teeth to mask a sob. Pulling out to gasp right against those lips, and Thor is pleased. _Harder! Surely, after this you can go harder!_ he'd growled and Thor responds with a sharp grind that Loki meets with a desperate roll of his hips. He's still crying though, head turned away as if to hide, as Thor sucks a mark into the long column of his neck. Thor comes with a shout, collapsing on top him, whispering about his love. _Oh, I love you brother. Say you love me brother_.  
For a moment his mind goes blank, so he doesn't. Instead he listens his own rasping breath, feels Thor's residual grinding as he comes down and then comes to the sound of his brother sobbing.

 _Power is painful._

He thought blankly as he pushed his brother aside. Sacrificing his body for the epiphany that he could control the crown heir, that he mattered, was as astonishing as it was painful. He wonders still if his affection had gone unnoticed. If Thor simply wanted and took, or if he had slowly convinced himself via the glances given, touches stolen over 400 long years that his brother returned those feelings.

He looks down at himself, debauched, silk pants ripped and watches as his sedir effortlessly works for him, threading the silk back up. He sighs. Maybe even sniffles. Thor won't remember in the morning, Loki thinks simply. 

He never remembers anything in the morning. But to be sure, Loki presses two long fingers past the damp golden hair and against his temple and pulls the memory out and away. Cradling it in his palm as he stumbles back to his chambers. 

He pours it in an amulet and wears it sometimes, other times he would just lay in bed and stare at it, wondering if Thor would ever touch him like that again. Willing himself to give Thor a second chance, more for himself than anything else.

For 1600 years he had thought to bring it up. The cruelty and how Thor, had unknowingly sent a precedent. How Loki had been responding to something Thor could not remember. But he did not. He still doesn't know why.

But now in the arms of his lover after 1600 years, it's safe to say that his brother has gotten kinder. Perhaps in the arms of his mortal women, Loki does not know, but Thor has gotten kinder. And Loki cannot forgive himself, for feeling such a keen loss. And Loki cannot forgive Thor, for marshalling his strength, his self control for this midgardian woman and then as if to salt the wound, let it pass over into their own nights together.

Loki can't forgive himself for needing that cruelty, that honest and desperate need expressed and he cannot forgive himself for simply enjoying these newfound moments, quiet and honey filled. 

"You wouldn't remember." Loki says finally, more to himself. 

"I'd never forget a moment with you." Thor speaks, honestly believing.

And just Loki just laughs.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm so sorry, I literally have no idea what came over me. I woke up at 3:30 am needing to go pee and this fic was just in my head.


End file.
